I own a lot of crap.

This was made for the Holy Crap, Assemblage swap for The Sisters of Holy Crap group on swap-Bot. This is a different kind of swap we’re trying to save on postage: you complete the swap, take a picture of it and post it online, then alert your partners to where you posted the pictures.

You know what’s deceptively hard? Assemblage. I had an idea that I thought I could execute in about ten minutes… and it sucked. I tried three variations on it. Nothing worked. Out of frustration, I tried a different approached. Getting warmer… but it still took over two hours to complete to my liking.

So with no further ado… my completed assemblage:

complete assemblage

This is an homage to my childhood, of sorts. I have always been a pack rat, or a magpie if you will. I related to Claudia the most in the Babysitters Club series, because you never knew when you needed a pile of old candy wrappers, or that really cute sticker someone left on your swap envelope.

close up 1

The background is a board with a picture attached from the dollar store that once graced my walls. I painted over it with the last teeny bit of white paint I owned, with a touch of yellow to make more paint tone it down. The streaky paint job is half intentional, half “wow, I really, really have no white paint.”

The diamante frame is from a swap… I don’t do much scrapbooking anymore, and I was never one to add glitz to my pages. If you know me, you know how shocking that is because I am a glitter whore. The cup is actually from a wine sample I enjoyed around Easter; out of all the crap, that is the newest thing in this assemblage (aside from the flowers.)

close up 2

Here’s where the sickness begins. From left: gold glitter star from when I worked at the scrapbook store (and have been sitting on for… 6? 7? years?); glow-in-the-dark Lisa Frank paw print from elementary school (they adorned my ceiling, and used to fall on me while I slept.) Random pig from somewhere… sometimes I just pick things off the ground. Barbie shoe that moved with me three times now; cap of a bottle of Sofie by Goose Island; bear sticker that I’ve had since I was 3? While gathering all this together, I discovered I have not one, not two, but FIVE boxes devoted to junk amongst in my craft supplies. (And let’s be honest – I’ll probably combine them to make two to three boxes and call it a day.)

Want to see a failure?


One of many attempts. I was stuck on a vintage vibe originally. Those photos are my mom during her childhood. The coins are some of my Wheatie collection, along with two silver quarters. And look: a completely different pig! (I used to sell ham. I like pigs.) Not the worst assemblage, but nothing like my completed one.


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